(by Deirdre Morgan)

It’s been very moving to be in Warsaw Poland as women are crossing the border from Ukraine.

Of all of Ukraine’s friendly neighbours, Poland is receiving the lion’s share of refugees fleeing from the war. It is believed this is due to its historical and cultural ties along with its close language links. Poland refugee arrivals are now nearing 2 million. This is colossal compared with its other neighbours Moldova, Hungary and Romania which are at this moment in the hundreds of thousands.

Myself and my husband are amazed at how the Polish are receiving them, with calm and with gracious support. Of course the hearts of many are with Ukrainians at this hour. Their world has been turned upside down. My parents both come from poor agricultural communities in rural Ireland. My father grew up on a small farm on a small island just off the north coast of County Donegal in the Republic of Ireland. My mother grew up in a small house, on a small street in a small Irish village and burned turf in her kitchen fire. It is very heartbreaking to see ordinary people like myself and my parents who, up until a few weeks ago, were for the most part going about their daily business, but now passing through these extremely uncertain times.

The women I’ve met share how they’ve left husbands, partners, fathers and sons behind.
For many, tears are always lurking – though they may not fall, they shine in their eyes. A great number are simply numb. It feels like a sea of pain and most times it emerges only in ripples. Only sometimes is there a wave. Maybe it’s just my perception but I sense that most are trying to stay calm – a silent collective agreement that ‘why should any rage and cry when the other women are going through the same thing’ . I certainly feel this myself. I think of the goodbyes of my friends to their male relatives and I almost brush the tears from my cheeks in shame – why should I cry when I have my husband with me? I have a private dilemma, I want them to know I care but tears can feel a little indulgent when I haven’t had to say goodbye to loved ones myself.

Much of what I’ve said is about first impressions of women I meet in passing or for the first time. It’s a different type of experience being with ladies who I’ve been with day after day. I’m able to hear their stories as they take me step by step through them. There’s an undercurrent with some – it’s not just about the war, we all have issues even without a war. But the war has catalysed their pain.

I hear stories of how some of them were reluctant to go but loved ones wanted them to leave for their own safety. Some fled from fear from another night in a freezing makeshift bomb shelter under their building – they were afraid to get sick in the cold and the queues to pharmacy are several hours.

The queues are one of the most daunting things about leaving Ukraine, due to these people having to stay overnight even in unsheltered train station platforms sitting upright trying to sleep. What should take a few hours takes several just to get from Lviv to a Polish border town. In every station and every place you can see some people that are absolutely exhausted.

Two of the women I’ve come across are in their fifties, one has significant health conditions and the other brought her elderly mother in a wheelchair. They have adult children of their own still in Ukraine. These women speak little or no English and no Polish, yet they speak philosophically and with hope about their loved ones back in their war torn country. Maybe it’s just me but they’ve seen a lot of life and perhaps understand better what it means to endure patiently compared to their younger counterparts.

One of these really touched me as we spoke into Google translate. Neither of us has barely more than a word of the other’s language but over an hour communicating in this method in the miracle of modern technology of voice to text, she shared openly of widowhood and leaving two of her children behind. She was joyful and even laughed at her feelings of joy mixed with stress. She’s trying to remain calm and strong. She was one of the most grateful women I met regarding any of the help I offered. I hope I can be that person should our situations be reversed.

I spoke to a lady who is helping others all the time and looks for opportunities to do so on all occasions. She is from my generation and is sharing sleeping accommodation with several people, 3-4 people per room on the floor. She waves this away as an issue – she has a son and husband in Ukraine who’ve been unable to leave due to rules about men staying if 18-60 years. She appreciates all the help that I provide but as I look in her eyes I sense tears are never far away.

Other ladies share how their family wanted them to stay in the Kiev danger zone and help with the war effort in Ukraine and their tears are saying – ‘why out of my whole family did I leave all my family behind’, tears of guilt for the desire to be in safety. I want to tell her that any help she can provide her friends in Poland – emotional and practical support is much needed.

One or two ladies now in Warsaw with me, were ‘stuck’ in the wrong side of Ukraine – this is in bomb beleagured cities usually to the East of the country. One lady shared her city, which is near Donetsk was bombed and is now a skeleton of what it was, showing me photographs of holed buildings just about standing with no windows and streets, just abandoned. She explained that she was working as usual in the coal plant near her home. She went home and minutes later the bomb destroyed the factory – her life was minutes from mortal danger, then soon after bombs ripped through neighbourhood buildings. She has had to leave as her home is standing but practically destroyed. She and the other lady made the days long journey via humanitarian corridors across Ukraine to get to Lviv. Some have shared that this journey takes a week. Yes they stop at places with free food but the waiting is excruciating and is so very tiring. Arriving in Poland they are on their last legs, literally.

These are women at war – allowed to leave the country but like their men, not at rest. They fight daily with the temptation to succumb to hopelessness. I am inspired by many of them who have faith in God that these events are not for nothing. They are purposeful events – by the hand of God, as much of the world’s attention is now on Ukraine and comfort is near, despite these terrible events. I’m inspired by so many of these women who choose to believe that what’s happening is bigger than their personal situation and they are literally making history. In spite of destroyed homes, friends and family still in danger, a media saturated with death, stress and predictions of doom, they are gathering together, organising, receiving support, accepting of their circumstances, grieving, pulling themselves up from the depths of despair and moving forward together. I just want to support them as much as I can and I’m weak myself.

On Sunday 20th March 2022, a small group of us met together in a hotel function room to worship our God with our friends. A small beginning of a newly birthed congregation.. And the majority were women! But to see the spiritual joy, sense the presence of God and know that now, there is a plan for movement, was a healing moment. There was tangible excitement in the eyes of the guests and the fellowship was upbeat. Yes, broken and beaten down but the response, ‘I want to study the Bible’. The sound of Women at War. Glory to God. Glory to the heroines. Slava Ukrainia!

Слава Богу. Герою слава. Слава Україні.